she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize