Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
