there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
