Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
