yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
