They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
