sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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