You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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