Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
