How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
be right there i have to get my cape
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize