i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
