I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
