Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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