i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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