hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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