I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
