She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
