i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
