so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
