He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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