Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
one might say we're banned from that church
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
