I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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