i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
