I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
