I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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