My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
