So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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