the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
