She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
