I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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