Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
