ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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