My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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