I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
