dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my liver is dry heaving
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
