More tranny stories later!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
