haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
