Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
