im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
