I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
