Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Randomize
