My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
