ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
