I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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