You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
