Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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