So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize