it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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