Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
