do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
