At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
