honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
