it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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