we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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