Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
