operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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