$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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