Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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