My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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